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I remember furtively clicking on thumbnail after thumbnail in an “Interns of the Month” gallery, watching spray-tanned haunches and balloon-taut breasts of girls posed around Oval Office interiors materialize, bit by it.

And to make matters worse, I had harbored feverish notions that he was perhaps “my person,” or at least one of 25 on this earth who I had actually managed to find. On paper, his self-presentation was classic upper-middle-class whiteboy: long and tall. Blue jeans, white T-shirts, and only marginally cool sneakers.

He played Chopin on the piano and worked in solar sales. I wanted everyone to just get over it and get on with it!

Just look to the billion annual industry of feminine hygiene products, only a portion of which involves pads or tampons.

The rest is comprised of vaginal douches, washes, and wipes — aimed at restoring our precarious femininity and desire — which in turn, because they’re considered “cosmetic,” don’t have to be regulated by the FDA.

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